I used to be a practicing Buddhist. That is, I meditated daily, I attended weekly Buddhist teachings, I was Vegetarian, I shaved my head and I could pack up all of my belongings into a few boxes. Then gradually I allowed the sumptuous and plentiful desires (read: delusions) that come with Western culture to get in the way. I married, I had children and life swept me off my path. I have many, many things now. Beautiful things. I am fortunate to live a very comfortable existence. I get my hair done every 6 weeks. My wardrobe alone wouldn’t fit into a few boxes and a few expensive designer labels have even started to creep in there. I don’t pay much attention to the price of food and my trolley is always full of food, including many delicacies. I feel inauthentic in my current approach to life but in Buddhism I have feelings of being ‘home’. I now struggle to bridge the gap between my life as a mother, wife and modern western woman and my desire to once again be a practicing Buddhist.
You could argue that my entire existence at the moment is largely concerned with the superficial. I have many delusions that’s for sure! So while through my meditating I hope to become aware of the much finer and subtle levels of my delusions, through my blogging I hope to intellectually strike a balance between my current way of life and the life of a Buddhist.
I ‘ll share this journey here, for a time being, in order to keep myself on the path and accountable. I will insert extracts from texts highlighting various Buddhist themes, teachings and techniques so that other’s may get something out of it. I still remember the first book I read which mentioned Buddhism. It was like a light bulb switched on in my head and I clearly remember thinking “So that’s what I am. I’m a Buddhist!”. I was 17. So if someone reads those extracts and has the same urge to find out more, than I have done something good in writing this blog.
I will dedicate any understandings and all merit I gain from sharing these writings to my personal liberation from suffering in order to promote the same cessation of suffering and well being for my children, my husband, my family, my friends and ultimately all sentient beings.
Mahayana Mum (MM)